Day 10

My hooman came!!! Hollee iz back an she sed she had good hodillay and she not ginger!  Nao ai goes home.  Mebbe can talk Hollee into lettin me do dis interwebz fing at home.  Den ai can find sexy lady on fazebuk and say hai!

Bengee sighnin owt!

Jus notissed dat stinky gest not heer.  Mebbe he got bored of bein on hodillay an went home?

Day 9

Got noo room todai. Ai is next to sexy lady!  She bit more purrypy todai, maybe will gets somewer wif her!

Cleeners brot silly buzzy find wif eyes.  It chased me an tried to eet my manly bits!  Ai had to jump all over teh place an it wuddent let go.  Stoopid cleeners useless, just sat an laffed.  Cud dey not see teh vishuss fing!

Day 8

No intresting talkin fuds todai.  Just dogses and cats.  Given up on sexy lady fur nao cos she still all hissy.  Kids must hav teefs nao.  Heh.

Could get used to dis soopervisery fing tho.

Woz bored so cleener sed ai cud come help an' do work.  Made me write fings.  Difficult as ai no fumbs.  Stoopid cleener.  Sed it woz for slinky fing.  Why cant slinky fing do own papers?

Ders a funnee slinky fing in todai.  Smells weerd.  Dey put it in room above me an it keeps scrabbling an' frowing paper down.  Messy slinky fing.

S'not fair.  Cleeners is gibing everybuddy nice noms but ai gets biskits.  I askded for nice noms but cleener sez ai has 'die-it' and is not allowed. 

Die-it sownds speshal an' ai want to be speshal but ai also want nice noms!

Day 7

Cleener tol' me dis morning dat Hollee is in place called 'londone' for her birfday.  Ai dunno wer londone is but cleener sez is far away.  Dat fine but I hope Hollee remembers ai is heer.  Mebbe she brings me cheezburger wen she comes bac.

Ai hope she comes back!

Ai dunno wat a birfday is aither.  Cleener sez is wen yu go an' get drunk and has partee cos you is anuther yeer older.  Hollee must be very old cos she has birfday every weekend.  Mebbe dis speshal birfday.  Wunders if cats has birfdays?  Dont fink ai wants to get drunk tho.  Mebbe just get fishes an' mowses.

Mmm.  Terring dis paper stuffs to bits quite fun akshully!

Stinky gest on next floor not so stinky nao.  Wonder wat dey gibs him?

Can see sexy lady's kids nao.  Silly furballs.  Maybe if no kids she not so hissy?

Sqeeky cleener took fud away.  Dam.

Got full bowl of jellee fud todai!  Hehehe!

Day 6

Dis place must be weally egsiting.  Lots of kittehs and dogses comin every day.  Dey stay fer day then go awai agen.  Ai must be speshal cos ai gets to stay lots of days!

Sexy lady must also be speshal cos she here lots too.  I tried to chat agen today but she still all hissy.  She sed, 'Keep awai frm my kids, yoonuk!'

SHE HAZ KIDS.  Why is all sexy ladies alreddy taken? Tho maybe she dont kno who dad is?

Cat on beepy masheen went next door den came back.  Ai went to talks to her but she sleepin.  Beepy masheen stopped beepin finely!  Cat not wakin up so ai kissd her gnite an went to get fud.

Stoopid dot.  Stoopid squeeky cleener.

Dotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdot!

Mustcatchdot!

Todai boring.  No more mowse or chikkin fuds, just dogses and bloo stuff in suranges and beepy masheen.  Dont like beepy masheen.  Cleeners hav it an' shout at it, an' it shouts back.

Day 5

Dam.  No pocilypse.  Lots cleeners here todai.  Did go for wander tho.  Compooter seet not der. An stoopid dogs comin.  Tried to chat to sexy lady but she still gumpy.  Wai wont she liek me?

Dont fink ai lieks pocilypse now.  Stinky gest stinks an' no cleeners, not even stoopid one wot squeeks. Cwappy room servus.

Bluddy chikkin just tryd to eet me!!  Ai wos just lookin and it bitted me!  Is danerous, will tell cleener must be eeted nao.

Fink ai lieks pocylipse.  Get slave and fud and no noying dogses.  Penthowse nice sunny bed.

Cleener who makes squeeky noises came and gibs fud.  Sed ai cud go for wander.  Dey has penthowse up stares! It has beds an' noms an windwos and heety fing.

Day 4

Nobuddy heer yet.  Has der been a pocylipse?  Mebbe we last cats alive! Or mebbe cleeners is all drunk like Hollee?

Voo frum hotel window!

Went to talk to sexy lady again an' tol her ai was yoonuk.  She made giggly sound and fell backwards.  Maybe she drunk too?

BLUDDY CLEENERS.  Dey insisted dey cleen up fud.  I wantd to halp!

Dey left me lone for too minuts an' ai managed to nokk HOOGE fud bag to floor.  Heheh.  May as well start halpin to cleen up.

Cleeners just brot more fud.  It smells laik mowse but is bigger.  Maybe is supermowse.  It woz movin an' speekin laik chikkin.  Cleener gave it bloo stuff.  Ai wanted to eats it but cleener sed ai wud get drunk. Dont want to be drunk.  Hollee gets drunk an' she goes all giggly and silly.  Ai is Cat an' ai refoos to giggle.

Cleener just laffed at me an' sed ai wassint manly, ai was yoonuk.  Dunno wot yoonuk is.  Must be better dan manly.  I will tell sexy lady ai is yoonuk later.

Day 3

Only three cleeners today.  Dey let me owt to go wander, so ai went to chats to sexy lady.  She still all hissy and tol' me to piss off.  Must show her hao manly ai is.

Stinky gest across coridoor next to sexy lady.  Take a baff mate!!!

Chikkin is back tonite so cleeners diddint eats it.  Dey must not fink its fud.  Tried flirting at sexy lady but she is playin hard to gets.

Got to walks rownd hotel.  Fownd warm seet wif pushy buttens an' sat on it.  Cleener came and shreeked and tol' me to stop puttin hairs on compooter.  Maybe compooter is cleeners seet? Doesn't hav her name on it tho.

Stoopid udder gests lowd an' noizee. Dey dogs an' hav no sense.  Cleeners brot fud in box but forgot to gibs it to me.  Dey sed it woz 'pidge on'.  Ai sed it woz lunch, but dey looked at it an' took it away again.

Maybe dey eats it in anuvver room?

Day 2

Ai finks ai in hotel.  Peeples come today to cleens mai room.  An' brot noms again.  Get nice voo from window.  Sexy lady in room across coriddoor but she ignorings me nao.  Will need to try flirtee tactiks an' see.

Dey haz chikkin heer.  It moves an' speeks.  Nevvur seen chikkin wot moves before.  Peeples dont seem to realize dat chikkin is fud.  Dey talks to it and feeds it!  Wunder if can get chikkin overnite...

Day 1

Hollee went off today and forgotted me. Ai tried to tell her ai was lokked in but she diddint hears me :(

Not so bad tho.  Peeples gives me noms and scritches an' it warm an' cozeee.